Daddy And Me

I don't think that I want to write poetry as of now, No thoughts to write. The reader might notice that I write poetry only when I am in extreme sorrow. No sorrow, no poetry. But I wanted to write something and don't want to complicate my life by creating another blog for my writings.

I think in this posting, I'd like to analyse a relationship close to me. Most people would have referred to any such situation in the usual third and fourth party terms like I have a friend and he has a problem, while on most counts one is referring to oneself and readers are not so dumb not to crack that out!

So, it's about me and my father. I think he is one of the most patient and indulgent fathers' that I have seen around. Perhaps he doesn't fall in the category of the 'cool dads', where I could discuss things like sex and relationship with him but he is quite broad minded as such. I think our relationship is deeper. I think I love him more than anyone would love their fathers'. I think he is like a son to me- I am as possessive as I would be of my son and I care for him that much or more. I really don't mind, if I don't ever have a son. I just need daddy around always.

Sometimes, I try and think of our relationship and the visible depth. Thankfully, this does not impact the relationship of mamma and daddy or me and mamma. She knows that he is more than a father for me. He is my child, my life. We weren't this close before 2000. When he was hospitalised, I realised his importance and I wonder what took me over that I virtually started treating him like a new born child. Indeed, his operation did give him a new life and I actually started treating him like a baby. Not that I regret it.

Anyway, now that my parents are off to Calcutta, I am wondering how am I going to live without him- the love of my life! Phew- bad thought- let it go away. October is still far away. I think that the distance is necessary- it will make the relationship more in line with how it is for my peers and their fathers. But the question is- do I want it to be that way? No, obviously. But I think it is necessary. The affection and love is not going to go away. Oh god- can he please live forever?